Letting Go

"Time goes by... people touch, and then they’re gone..."

Five years. It has been five years since I’ve been half of a couple. In some ways, it seems like such a short time, and yet, at other times... it seems like forever.

I LOVED being half of a whole. I’m good by myself, but I am better as a pair.

The other day, we were cleaning out Dad’s shop building. Now, as most parents are, Dad was so good about storing his kids’ junk... for years. So, every time I moved, if I didn’t have room for something, I just sent it back home with Dad, knowing that he would keep it safe. Sure enough, the other day, I found an old cedar chest down in Dad’s shop building that was filled with my stuff. I hadn’t given it much thought, but since it was going in the estate sale, I knew I’d better clean it out. Man. I opened the lid and...

BURST OUT CRYING. Yep, cried like a baby. 

Now, I know you are wondering what could possibly have been in there to make me so emotional. My kids’ baby clothes? An old wedding album? Family keepsakes? 

No. Nothing of the sort.

GAMES.

It was full of games. Clue, Life, Triominos, Yahtzee, Trivial Pursuit, Scattergories, Bible Trivia, Uno, Skip-Bo, Phase Ten and so on and so forth.

And in that moment, years of fun - family game nights, late night cards with friends, company over playing board games - all came back to me, in one fell swoop. And instantly, I wondered...

Will I ever have anyone to play games with again? Will I ever be half of a whole again?

Needless to say, my family all hung back and let me have my cry. And then, I put back on my big girl panties and stacked every single one of those games on the sale table. 

Every. Single. One. Of. Them.

I had to. It was the only way to let go and move on. Move on to... what? I really don’t know. But I sure hope that someday, somewhere, sometime that I don’t have to be single anymore. Like I said, I’m good alone. But I’m better together.