Today was party day! My mom turned 80 yesterday so we had a birthday bash AT A PIZZA PLACE today. Talk about a food challenge.
I prepped all week. This is a fairly small pizza chain so I couldn't find any nutrition info online for them. However, I did find it for several other pizza chains so I compared them all and found a happy medium, hoping that this one fit into that mold. I was ecstatic to discover that a pepperoni calzone was only 8 points... until I found out they don't have calzones. LOL. So, after looking and comparing all week, I decided on soup and salad. Oh well.
Then there was cake. OMG. It looked so good and chocolate cake is my weakness for sure. I wasn't going to have any, but then I got to thinking how this was a lifestyle change, and at some point in my life, I'm going to have cake. So, I cut 1/4 of a piece and enjoyed every single bite. And that was enough to be satisfied. It was delicious too!
I wasn't very hungry for dinner (thank goodness after all those points at lunch), so it was an easy choice tonight.
All in all, I'm feeling quite proud of myself for navigating such tough waters and coming out on the other side a winner! #icandothis
FOOD - DAY 6 OF 365:
Breakfast: 1 Peanut Butter toast (3 points), 4 slices of Hormel ready to eat bacon (3 points) = 6 points and it was delicious. Good combo!
Lunch: The big one. Lol. 1 cup of potato soup (6 points), salad (7 points). Here's what I had in my unconventional "salad": cottage cheese (3 points), boiled eggs (0 points), sunflower seeds (1 point), croutons (1 point), low fat cheese (1 point), 6 black olives (1 point) and broccoli (0 points). No lettuce or tomatoes in my salad! All for 13 points. Not terrible.
Dinner: 1 cup of Great Northern Beans (0 points), 1 cottage cheese snack cup (3 points).
Snack: CAKE! A tiny, 1/4 piece but it was soooo worth it (4 points).
All in all, it was a good day, I still have points left over and I really am feeling "in it to win it"!
18 meals down... 1077 to go. #onmyway
A year in the life... Day 5.
It's been a whirlwind! Yesterday was my mother's 80th birthday. Of course I had to take her out to eat. You're only 80 once! That being said, I told her I was taking her to the local family restaurant and I had done my research. I was all set to spend 15 points for dinner and have catfish, baked potato and green beans. Yum!! Unfortunately... she decided she wanted Mexican food and since it was her birthday, that's where we went. Total game changer. YIKES! But, I did my best, and turns out, I still had rollover points.
I was seriously worried that I'd be up when I weighed this morning due to all the salt in the food (not to mention the FAT), but thankfully, I was down another pound! Yahoo! 8.4 lbs since Monday. It's a miracle y'all! I can't even believe it. I NEVER lose weight. The struggle is so real. But I'm here to attest... this is working for me!
FOOD - DAY 5:
Breakfast: Finally a satisfying breakfast!! Success! Peanut Butter Toast (2 slices of Wonder whole-grain white bread = 3 points... doubled since I had two of them, so 6 points).
Lunch: 2 Soft Tacos (2 Mission Carb Balance tortillas (these are soft, white and delicious!) 2 points each, 99% Fat Free ground turkey (0 points), taco seasoning (0 points), Kraft Fat Free cheddar cheese (0 points) = 4 points total.
Dinner: The Mexican food mentioned above... hold on tight. It's a killer. 7 tortilla chips (3 points), 1/4 cup white queso (3 points), 2 tostadas with beans and cheese (14 points) = 20 points. TWENTY! Ugh!
Snacks: 1 Kiwi (0 points) and Grapes (0 points). Let me just say that this, too, is almost a miracle. I have never been a fruit eater.
All that, and I still had points left at the end of the day. 100% success!
Today was a DAY! Ugh. Day 4 of 365. It's days like today that would normally make me quit. I was starving all day, I felt like my sugar was a little out of whack, and when I stopped to pick up supper from KFC, I discovered that Cushing's KFC doesn't have the grilled chicken because "they don't have a grill." Of course they don't. #storyofmylife
Just my luck! Without having nutrition info at hand, I had to just wing it (ha! wing it... get it? chicken?). I ordered a KFC bowl. When I got home I found out that sucker was 17 points! Holy Moly!
All that being said, I still had a good attitude today and absolutely wanted to make good choices. I had a couple of moments of weakness (that chicken bowl came with a delicious looking cookie that I threw away), but so far, I've survived and have points left over. PTL! I need all the rollover points I can get because my mom's 80th bday is tomorrow and we are going out to eat and then Saturday is her bday party... with PIZZA & CAKE! Oh my...
FOOD - DAY 4 OF 365
Breakfast: 2 pieces of Wonder whole grain white bread, toasted (3 points) and 1 T. of peanut butter (3 points). It was BY FAR the best breakfast I've had so far. SUCCESS!
Lunch: Spaghetti (7 points), green beans (0 points) and butter beans (0 points). SUCCESS!
Dinner: KFC Chicken bowl with most chicken removed for less points (I'm calling it 13 points). SEMI-SUCCESS! Lol
Snack: Kellogg's Rice Krispy Treat bar (4 points - too many points for the small bar!) SEMI-SUCCESS!
To sum it up, I hope tomorrow is a way better food day, I'm tired of all the things I cooked last Sunday, and I'm still hunting for the perfect sweet breakfast. BUT, I'm still in it to win it, I threw away a hot, delicious chocolate chip cookie, and I'm still under my points for the day. Absolute SUCCESS as far as I'm concerned! 12 meals down, 1083 to go. #ivegotthis #neverbackdown #bringingsexyback
Day 3... 9 meals down... 1086 to go. So far, so good. My body feels... skinny. Haha! I'll take it!
I love, love, love to eat out. I love not having to cook or clean up the mess from cooking. I was TOTALLY tempted to grab fast food tonight. I was starving, and I really wanted either Taco Bell or KFC. I mean, I have lots of points left over for the day and I could have had it, but I just felt like it wouldn't be a great choice for me. I'm down 6.2 lbs and I want to stay that way! Fast food has so much sodium in it that I knew it would make me retain water and I'd be sad when I weighed in the morning.
So, I forced myself to drive to the gas station and get a Diet Pepsi instead and then I came straight home. And once here, it was easy to eat right. WIN, WIN, WIN!
FOOD - DAY 3 OF 365:
Breakfast: I've still not hit the breakfast jackpot yet. That's my struggle bus for sure. I ate low-sugar Quaker oatmeal for breakfast for 5 points. It was okay, but didn't quite hit the spot. Still searching for the breakfast solution...
Lunch: I had two soft tacos for a total of 4 points! Y'all, who says you won't get full on Weight Watchers?? I was stuffed. And everything I ate (taco meat, beans, fat free cheese, and Mission Carb Smart tortillas) was 0 points except the tortillas. Although they cost almost $5.00 a package, let me tell you, they are worth EVERY penny. They are "white" (I hate wheat tortillas), soft and delicious. YUMMO!
Dinner: Leftovers: Succotash (6 points for 1 cup), cottage cheese (3 points) and butter beans (0 points). Delicious 9 point dinner and I'm stuffed to the gills.
My attitude is good, and my mindset is even better. I'm in it to win it!
I DID IT! I survived Day 2 of 365.
When I woke up this morning, I got on the scale. I was down FIVE pounds. What?! Talk about empowering. It's amazing how 5 measly pounds will make you feel "in it to win in". I felt like a diet beast all day. Haha!
I will say that I am learning a lot about food. Before yesterday, I absolutely could not have eaten spaghetti without bread and butter. It just goes together. I'm a HUGE bread eater. I literally like bread of some sort with every single meal. That is most definitely going to be a hard part of this journey.
FOOD - DAY 2 OF 365:
Breakfast: 2 chocolate pumpkin muffins. 3 points each - 6 points. Not bad for breakfast. I love, love sweets for breakfast. I used a sugar-free Pillsbury cake mix and combined it with one can of pure pumpkin. You guys... DELISH and only 3 points! WIN!
Lunch: Succotash. 1 cup - 6 points, and green beans - 0 points. Y'all. Succotash is the BOMB and it has so many zero point things in it!
Snack: I discovered that while I'm at work, I HAVE to have a snack. At home? Not so much. But at work, that 3:00 slump hit me hard. I found these great Enlightened Fudge Bars at Sprouts yesterday. Only 2 points and not bad at all.
Dinner: I was STARVING. I had more spaghetti than I'd originally planned to. I used the Kraft green box spaghetti mix and it's only 7 points per serving. The ground turkey in the sauce was 0 points. But alas, I couldn't stop at one serving so I had 1 1/2 servings which brought my total to 10. I also had 1/2 cup of low-fat cottage cheese at 3 points, and corn at 0 points. Dinner was still a complete success at 13 total points.
So, on target for the day with points left over. Day 2... a complete SUCCESS!! 1,089 meals to go...
Last July I saw a movie that would eventually change my life. I knew it at the time (see my previous blog post), but just didn't know exactly how it would change me. So... my blog is titled, "You might as well make lemonade"... and I truly believe that I have "made lemonade" these past 10 years since my divorce. I have looked adversity in the face and risen above many times. It hasn't always been easy, that's for certain. Sometimes my lemonade was sour, salty, bitter and watered out, and there were definitely times I felt like I'd crash and burn. But, hey! I'm still here and making it!
In July, I had a revelation that my head was my problem. It screamed insecurities at me. I let it tell me all sorts of ugly things and I had let myself believe them... for years. I knew in July that I had to figure my head out before anything else in my life would change. I also realized then that it wasn't what was on the outside that really counts... it's what's on the inside that matters. I struggled to accept myself as I was, regardless of circumstances, size, shape, looks, personality, etc. But at the same time, I wanted to be healthy, and to be a better me both inside and out. I really began to work on myself, and on my insecurities, my confidence. But I never could get that one part of my head on the straight and narrow... the part that yelled at me that I couldn't lose weight, that I never would, that I didn't deserve to. Then suddenly, in the past couple of weeks, it finally all just came together and "clicked" in my head.
This morning marked the start of my new life. Not just a "diet", but a complete change of mindset. And for the first time in years and years... I know I CAN do this, and I definitely DESERVE it. I've started out on a one year journey to greatness... a year to improve myself, in a lot of ways. A year from now, you'll see a "new" me, at least on the outside. The inside me will always be the ME you know... hopefully with a few improvements there too but y'all, I'm about as real as it gets. No fakeness here and that won't change! Love me or leave me, either one is okay. It's all about the journey, and those that make the journey with me will be the ones that I need in my life.
With that being said, I'm changing things up a little bit. I'm trying to be transparent, because, well, that's just how I roll. Instead of "You might as well make lemonade", my new phrase is going to be "You might as well make DIET lemonade". For YEARS, I haven't "really" tried to lose weight. Oh, I've put my hand to it a little here and a little there over the years, but not with true effort. And why not? Well, for quite a few reasons, some being more expedient to talk about than others. There's just some dirty laundry that needs to stay... buried... for lack of a better word. Let's just say that people's words can be more hurtful than they know and can stay with you for a lifetime if you let them. It's time to let them go.
I've done some soul-searching these past few years, and especially since last July, and I've made some changes for myself... some popular with others, some not. And THAT'S OKAY! I'm doing me, you do you, and we'll get along just fine.
For Day 1 of my 365 day journey, here are some observations:
1. I like grapes way better than I thought I did.
2. I don't like Egg Substitute. Blech.
3. If I eat the right things, I'm really not hungry between meals.
4. Who knew that you could eat SO MUCH food and it be legal??
5. If you put your water in a cute Rae Dunn refillable water bottle, you drink a lot more than when it's in a boring old cup.
6. I have no clue how I can feel this full, be on target with my diet and yet still lose weight... but "they" say it works.
7. It's amazing what a good mindset will do for your confidence. Wow. I had no idea. I honestly had a great day, in public with zero insecurities.
You guys... come ride this train with me. I need all the encouragement I can get! (Just don't side-eye judge me if you see me eating something you think I shouldn't... this is a year-long journey and no one is perfect for a whole freakin' year.)
FOOD JOURNAL, DAY 1 of 365:
Breakfast: 2 Eggs (0 points), 1/4 C of Fat Free cheddar cheese (0 points), 2 slices of Canadian Bacon (1 pt), 1 Mission Carb Balance tortilla (2 points) and water. 3 points of SUCCESS!!
Lunch: 1 Small bowl of Chicken Tortilla Soup from Chick Fil A (5 points), 8 regular chicken nuggets (6 points), and unsweetened tea (0 points). 11 points of SUCCESS!!
Snack: Grapes (my new favorite) (0 points). 0 points of SUCCESS!!
Dinner: 24 bite-sized Tostitos chips (4 points), 1/2 Cup of ground turkey w/ taco seasoning (0 points), 1/2 cup of chili beans (0 points), 1/4 cup of corn (0 points), Fat Free shredded cheddar cheese (0 points). 4 points of SUCCESS!!
Y'all, I'm STUFFED. And I still have points I can eat today if I want. I can't imagine... Lol.
So far, so good. 3 meals down out of 1,095... I CAN DO THIS!
It's been a good, good day.
I saw a great movie last night and it got me to thinking...
Things just got real over here!
When I was a little girl, there was a time when I thought everyone was my friend, the way that most kids do. When I went to a new place, I didn\"t think, "What if they don\"t like me?" Instead, I would think, "Oh yay! New friends!" Sadly, as the years passed and I became self-aware, I became insecure. I tried hard to put on a good front, and for the most part, people thought I was friendly and outgoing. Occasionally though, someone would see through that facade.
One year in Colorado, my insecure flag was flying high and although I was around some new people, I was only talking with my "already" friends. A guy I had just met said that I was "snobby". Snobby? Oh, no. Just extremely insecure. Thankfully, he saw my true self and we became fast friends. That year may have been the most fun I ever had at the Colorado camp outs, and I made some life-long friends.
As I got older, I found security in things I was good at. Whether it be working at a job, having company and being a good hostess, being organized and helping with Christmas programs, volunteering at the school, or whatever. Anything I could feel "good" at, gave me a "place" and I didn\"t have to feel awkward. Want help at a party? Invite me! I\"ll be the first one to jump in and help because it gives me a purpose. Now, don\"t get me wrong. The insecurity was still there... and sometimes it was a huge, roaring monster in my head. And, sadly, it made me less of a wife, mother, sister, daughter and friend. Can you imagine the confidence my own daughter would have if she\"d had a mom that was uber secure and confident and not afraid of being "less"?
After my divorce, I knew I had to go back to work. And let me tell you, that insecure monster was BIG. But, God came through for me with the perfect starter job that I could be good at... a Hallmark Card representative. On days that my head was roaring too loudly, I could walk in, start working and instantly feel better about myself.
Over the years, I\"d always found security at the school, even if it was just volunteering in my children\"s classrooms, or taking them and their friends to ballgames, etc. I was a good "school mom". After a bit, I was blessed with a job there, and thankfully, I have found confidence and self-assurance in it. I LOVE my job and am so thankful for it. Sometimes, just like with Hallmark, my head will be roaring and all I have to do is step in the doors of the school and I\"m calm, and in my element.
In the 9 years since my divorce, I have really struggled with personal self-confidence. My hair is ugly. I\"m too fat. I talk too loud. Time and time again, I wonder why anyone would even want to be friends with me. I won\"t get up and walk across a crowded room. I won\"t let someone take my picture. I won\"t branch out of my inner circle. I just don\"t feel good about myself. Ever so often, I\"ll have a "good" day. I feel good, it\"s a good hair day, I may have on a new outfit, or maybe I have new make up on. Those days are the best. Those are the days that I have a spring in my step and I\"m "in it to win in" and I feel "likeable". Unfortunately, those days don\"t come often. But, once again, I\"m extremely good at hiding it and pray all the time that people don\"t realize how insecure I really am.
So, about that movie. It\"s called, "I feel pretty".The premise is this: She\"s chubby and not quite in style. She\"s insecure and not going places in life. She has a small friend group and that\"s about it. She\"s super intimidated by the beautiful people. Her greatest wish is to be one of them... to be beautiful. Well, she falls and hits her head. When she comes to, what she sees in the mirror is an extremely beautiful, thin, amazing woman. It immediately changes her behavior. When she\"d normally hang back and not even let someone open the door for her, she suddenly thinks everyone is opening the door for her, even when they aren\"t. She thinks everyone sees that she\"s drop dead gorgeous. She joins all sorts of things that are way out of her norm. She talks to everyone without reservation. The thing is... she\"s exactly how she\"s always been, but her HEAD is different. Her head sees that she\"s beautiful, amazing. If you haven\"t seen it... trust me, you want to. It\"s got such a great message.
The thing that struck me is... I do the same thing. My head is the problem... not me. I\"m Sandy, regardless of what I look like, regardless of my size or what my hair looks like or if I\"m frumpy and unfashionable. And you know what? If people don\"t like me, that\"s okay. I don\"t have to be super thin. I don\"t have to be in style if I don\"t want to. I can talk loud. AND IT\"S OKAY!! What a revelation.
I can\"t stop thinking about the movie, and I really feel like this is going to change my world somehow. I resolve TODAY to change my head... because I\"m worth it.
