Day 1 of 365... Let's Get This Party Started!

Last July I saw a movie that would eventually change my life.  I knew it at the time (see my previous blog post), but just didn't know exactly how it would change me.  So... my blog is titled, "You might as well make lemonade"... and I truly believe that I have "made lemonade" these past 10 years since my divorce.  I have looked adversity in the face and risen above many times.  It hasn't always been easy, that's for certain.  Sometimes my lemonade was sour, salty, bitter and watered out, and there were definitely times I felt like I'd crash and burn.  But, hey!  I'm still here and making it!

In July, I had a revelation that my head was my problem.  It screamed insecurities at me.  I let it tell me all sorts of ugly things and I had let myself believe them... for years.  I knew in July that I had to figure my head out before anything else in my life would change.  I also realized then that it wasn't what was on the outside that really counts... it's what's on the inside that matters.  I struggled to accept myself as I was, regardless of circumstances, size, shape, looks, personality, etc. But at the same time, I wanted to be healthy, and to be a better me both inside and out.  I really began to work on myself, and on my insecurities, my confidence.  But I never could get that one part of my head on the straight and narrow... the part that yelled at me that I couldn't lose weight, that I never would, that I didn't deserve to.  Then suddenly, in the past couple of weeks, it finally all just came together and "clicked" in my head.

This morning marked the start of my new life.  Not just a "diet", but a complete change of mindset.  And for the first time in years and years... I know I CAN do this, and I definitely DESERVE it.  I've started out on a one year journey to greatness... a year to improve myself, in a lot of ways.  A year from now, you'll see a "new" me, at least on the outside.  The inside me will always be the ME you know... hopefully with a few improvements there too but y'all, I'm about as real as it gets.  No fakeness here and that won't change!  Love me or leave me, either one is okay.  It's all about the journey, and those that make the journey with me will be the ones that I need in my life.

With that being said, I'm changing things up a little bit.  I'm trying to be transparent, because, well, that's just how I roll.   Instead of "You might as well make lemonade", my new phrase is going to be "You might as well make DIET lemonade".  For YEARS, I haven't "really" tried to lose weight.  Oh, I've put my hand to it a little here and a little there over the years, but not with true effort.  And why not?  Well, for quite a few reasons, some being more expedient to talk about than others.  There's just some dirty laundry that needs to stay... buried... for lack of a better word.  Let's just say that people's words can be more hurtful than they know and can stay with you for a lifetime if you let them.  It's time to let them go.

I've done some soul-searching these past few years, and especially since last July, and I've made some changes for myself... some popular with others, some not.  And THAT'S OKAY!  I'm doing me, you do you, and we'll get along just fine.

For Day 1 of my 365 day journey, here are some observations:

1.  I like grapes way better than I thought I did.
2.  I don't like Egg Substitute.  Blech.
3.  If I eat the right things, I'm really not hungry between meals.
4.  Who knew that you could eat SO MUCH food and it be legal??
5.  If you put your water in a cute Rae Dunn refillable water bottle, you drink a lot more than when it's in a boring old cup.
6.  I have no clue how I can feel this full, be on target with my diet and yet still lose weight... but "they" say it works.
7.  It's amazing what a good mindset will do for your confidence.  Wow.  I had no idea.  I honestly had a great day, in public with zero insecurities. 

You guys... come ride this train with me.  I need all the encouragement I can get!  (Just don't side-eye judge me if you see me eating something you think I shouldn't... this is a year-long journey and no one is perfect for a whole freakin' year.)

FOOD JOURNAL, DAY 1 of 365:

Breakfast:  2 Eggs (0 points), 1/4 C of Fat Free cheddar cheese (0 points), 2 slices of Canadian Bacon (1 pt), 1 Mission Carb Balance tortilla (2 points) and water.  3 points of SUCCESS!!

Lunch:  1 Small bowl of Chicken Tortilla Soup from Chick Fil A (5 points), 8 regular chicken nuggets (6 points), and unsweetened tea (0 points).  11 points of SUCCESS!!

Snack:  Grapes (my new favorite) (0 points).  0 points of SUCCESS!!

Dinner:  24 bite-sized Tostitos chips (4 points), 1/2 Cup of ground turkey w/ taco seasoning (0 points), 1/2 cup of chili beans (0 points), 1/4 cup of corn (0 points), Fat Free shredded cheddar cheese (0 points).  4 points of SUCCESS!!

Y'all, I'm STUFFED.  And I still have points I can eat today if I want.  I can't imagine... Lol.

So far, so good.  3 meals down out of 1,095... I CAN DO THIS!

It's been a good, good day.